Friendship Justification (part 2)

There is another way we justify ourselves using our friends and it is nearly the opposite of the first way. Whereas in the previous way we changed our apparent positions so people wouldn’t write us off, the other way is to only surround ourselves with people we agree with.

This isn’t really all that different than the first way. In both cases we are trying to insure that people around us agree with us so that we won’t be in the wrong. This way we can maintain the delusion that we are right.

We do this in so many ways, it’s hard to keep track. This factors into our decisions of what neighborhood to live in. We say that we pick a neighborhood that makes us feel comfortable, like we’re home. What’s really happening is that we are searching for a place that has people that are like us. They can’t be too rich or we’d feel inferior. They can’t be too poor or they’d remind us of our obligation to the needy. Ideally they are the same race, education, social class, economic bracket than we are so we are not uncomfortable with anyone disagreeing with us.

It also, subtly, happens at the coffee shop. In fact, it’s inherit in the fact that we are talking about a coffee shop. People who go out of their way to buy coffee at a specialty shop have certain things in common- disposable income to buy a 4 dollar drink every day, for instance. Otherwise people would stop by a gas station or McD’s if they were simply looking for a caffeine fix.

For me, a coffee shop invokes memories of intellectual discussions in college. We’d sit in a moderately smoky, moderately lit room, moderately buzzed by our drinks talking about any deep topic we wished. I want to relive that experience at every coffee shop I go to. This is why I find myself always engaging people in coffee shops- trying to find people who want to replicate that experience with me. This is another thing we have in common.

Surrounding ourselves only with those we have things in common with is another form of justification. This way, our differences are overshadowed by our commonalities by which we tell ourselves we are right.

I am convinced that someone who trusts in Christ for their justification will have many friends with which they have many disagreements. Because they are confident in their righteousness in Christ, they don’t have to find righteousness in friends who tell them they are right- even implicitly, by being like them.