the self-righteousness of bitterness

There was an employee I worked with at the coffee shop that really chapped my hide. In every lull in the morning rush he would sneak away to take a smoke break. He would constantly be late- even up to a couple hours- meaning there was twice as much work for me to do in order to catch-up. He was always flirting with the female customers- in the most explicit ways. If the women knew he flirted with all the other women in the same way, they never would have given him the time of day. The boss knew what was going on, but he seemed to be invincible.

Fiction or Non-Fiction

I’ve been collecting personal stories of my struggle with justification for over a year now. I’ve been doing this with the hopes of writing a book- in the tratition of Donald Miller- about my search for my own righteousness. I’ve tried to phrase these stories in terms of my experiences working in a coffee shop, to make them a little more interesting.

As I sit here and try to start this book, I have one big question: should it be fiction or non-fiction?

Christ and Coffee

According to the Gourmet Coffee Club, here’s a little about the relationship between Christ and Coffee:

Coffee had been a part of Arab culture for centuries but not so in the western European world. Venetian fleets sailed the known world trading spices, silks, and perfumes with the East. It is believed that coffee come to Venice from Constantinople as part of this trade. There was only one problem. When the drink reached Rome the priest attacked it and forbid it consumption.

The priests believed that the coffee was the drink of the devil. That Satan had invented the drink for the Moslem infidels as a substitute for the wine they were forbidden to drink. Since wine in the Western Christian world was sanctified by Christ and used in Holy communion, coffee must then be of the Anti-Christ. If a Christian drank this devil brew they would risk eternal damnation is how the argument went.

It wasn’t until the late 1500′s that Pope Clement VIII settled the dispute. He asked that the brew be brought before him. Intrigued by its powerful aroma, he sipped the coffee. It was delicious. The Pope blessed the coffee, and baptized it on the spot. He reasoned that banishing this drink from the Christian world would be a larger sin. With the Pope’s blessing, imports of coffee to Italy and the Western world came flooding in paving the way for the first western coffee houses.

Incredible Capacity to Rationalize

It seems that coffee shops and alternative newspapers go hand in hand. I don’t completely understand the connection, but all I know is that it’s just not a coffee shop if the only thing they have to read is the local, mainstream, owned-by-a-huge-corporation newspaper. At my shop, whenever there is a lull in the business, we reach for our own local alt rag.

Now, this is not to say there is anything wrong with reading the local paper. In a “real” newspaper you might read to become better informed about the world around you and the issues that are currently being debated in our culture. Not only will you understand the issues of the day more clearly by reading the conventional newspaper, but you will be able to make better decisions in light of the issues that are discussed. There is a real benefit in reading the local paper.

I get no such benefit from reading the local alternative newspaper. This is because the first place I turn is to the weird news stories. This is a collection of crazy incidents that have happened all over the world. They usually involve people doing stupid things that explain why our founding fathers gave us an Electoral College. The only benefit I get from reading these stories is a laugh and a sense of superiority. Yes, I read them because they justify me.

A-hole Evangelism

For some reason coffee shops attract Christians. Throughout the day I see many pastors who are waiting to meet someone to talk over a cup of Joe. The obvious explanation for this is the fact that there are few other public venues where pastors can meet someone other than a restaurant- and most pastors are fat enough, so if they can meet without eating all the better. The other reason for this is more of an inside story: after years of drinking terrible, motor-oil coffee before church services or at every church social, pastors are finally able to fill their caffeine fix with something that tastes much better than what they are used to.

You can tell you are serving a pastor by the look in their eye- probably the same look a hungry tiger gives to the child innocently playing in the jungle. Not only do they order the more boring drinks- being afraid of ordering the “wrong” thing- but they take a while with their order as they awkwardly attempt to start a conversation. Besides all of this, they don’t tip either- but that’s true of most Christians.

Sometimes, when a pastor is a regular, they start to feel more comfortable and will attempt to prolong the already uncomfortable conversation while you attempt to serve other customers. If the pastor is feeling particularly guilty for not evangelizing throughout the rest of the week, they will more directly attempt to spiritualize the conversation. Nothing is harder than attempting to be polite to your customer when someone else is trying to tell you what you are doing wrong and what you should be doing instead.

I know all of this because I used to do this when I was a pastor.

Cut the Cheeze

A good friend of mine had a saying that I have adopted as a credo, of sorts: “A joke is just a joke, but a fart is always funny.” Some say this is really immature of me, but I will always giggle when someone passes gas. This is why I couldn’t pass the opportunity, the other day, at the coffee shop to make the joke. There was some prep-work to be done in the back to get ready for lunch. This involved getting the condiments ready for the sandwiches, defrosting bread, and cutting the meats and cheeses. So, as I went into the back kitchenette, I announced to all who would hear- “I’m going in back to cut the cheese.” I smirked to myself, and waited for a laugh, only to get silence.

Returning to work I got everything ready for lunch and upon completion I mentioned to the staff, yet again, “I just cut the cheese.” They didn’t think it was as funny as I did so I moved on to find an easier audience.

My boss walked into the room and I was sure to inform her, “I just got everything ready for lunch. I made the pesto-mayonaise and cut the cheese.”

“Thanks,” she replied as she walked off.

I caught up with her again, and gave it a second try, “I just cut the cheese in the back.” She looked at my expectant smirk and asked, “What do you mean by that?”

You see, English is not my boss’ first language. Although she is very fluent now, she has missed many of the 2nd grade idioms I learned. Even though she had never heard “cut the cheese” meant in a funny way, she could tell by my expression that I was making some sort of joke. I explained to her what it meant and we discussed the many different ways someone might use the phrase “cut the cheese.”

I am telling you this story to illustrate another point about justification- besides my obvious attempt to build a humorous-righteousness by making a joke until someone laughed. The fact is we will search out thinks that will make us more righteous than others- even silly things. I fell for this myself by later telling someone that the boss didn’t know what “cut the cheese” meant. They were shocked she didn’t know it and we both had a good laugh at my boss’ expense.

Defining Justification

I just realized how important it is for us to define the term, “justification”, if we are going to discuss it. I think this term, especially in Christian usage, is often very misunderstood.

The usual Christian way of defining justification is “just as if I’d never sinned.” There is a problem with this definition, however. If this is all justification does then we still have to prove to God how worthy we are of his love. In other words, while God has forgiven us for our sins and we now are a blank sheet, we still have no guarantee God loves us.

Ferris Bueller and the Worst Verses in the Bible

http://www.biblegateway.c…10;&version=31;

There are a lot of nice things about working in a coffee shop- the obvious one is free coffee. It’s also fun to meet new people and engage in interesting conversations. At our shop I am proud of the artistry it takes to be a good barista (making latte art and timing your espresso shots). It’s a great job, really.

Sometimes the job can be difficult. As usual, the difficulty comes with other people. This can be difficult customers who don’t know what a real cappuccino is, so they complain when it’s not sweet. Sometimes customers are rude and talk on their cell phone while you are trying to take their order. At other times it’s the fellow employees…

God’s Simple Directions for Life

http://www.biblegateway.c…31;&version=31;

Looking over the customers in a coffee shop, you see a variety of activities going on. Some people are quietly enjoying their coffee over a book or newspaper. Others are trying to get away from the office while they accomplish something on their laptop. Still other customers have met another person to talk. You can tell when people are talking about a deep subject: they hold their coffee with both hands right below their chin, slightly leaning into each other, occasionally looking over their shoulder to see if anyone else is listening in.

A coffee shop is a great place to get together with someone and talk deeply. Perhaps we subconsciously know that the caffeine will help stimulate our thoughts, making us think more clearly than before. Maybe this is why we often meet people at a coffee shop to ponder the dilemmas life throws at us.

Life is full of dilemmas. Sometimes they seem impossible to solve: What should we do about this or that person? What if this happens? What if that doesn’t happen? What will I do if they don’t help?

Fortunately, God gives us very simple answers to our questions. Jesus has told us what his two most important commandments are (Mark 12.30-31):

‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.

These two commandments can solve any dilemma that you pose. The bottom line is that God wants us to love him and love others above everything else.

I see from your expression that you don’t believe me. You think that life is much more complicated that this. Sure, these are the two greatest commandments, but they don’t solve all our problems, you say.

Justifying Corrections (part 1)

When a customer approaches your coffee shop counter in the morning you are faced with a paradox of sorts: you need information from them that they will have a hard time clearly getting to you until you give them the product they are requesting in the first place. This task is made even more difficult with all the possible permutations available: do you want your latte flavored? which one? what kind of milk do you want? low foam? extra shots? Even a simple cup of coffee can be difficult: more or less room for cream and sugar? this blend or that? do you want a lid? a sleeve? Sometimes a craving customer will snap at you, “Just give me my coffee!”

With all these combinations- and the aforementioned paradox- mistakes happen. Since you are messing with someone’s addiction, people can become really angry with you. Maybe you made an assumption or they weren’t clear. Sometimes they don’t really know what they are ordering or are expecting you to make it like the large corporate store down the street. No matter where the mistake occurs, there is plenty of room for a correction.

This gives us the most common example of self-justification. When someone corrects you they are making a direct challenge to your righteousness- they are telling you that you are wrong! This can be a hard thing to take at 6:35 in the morning when you haven’t even had a chance to get your morning fix. It can be even more difficult when the customer obviously doesn’t know what they are asking for. A challenge has been made against your righteousness- how are you going to respond?